It's December 27th, Christmas is finally over, and I'm itching for it to be socially acceptable to put away the tree. Not to be a Grinch but Christmas goes on for so long. Many shops are now putting up their Christmas displays before we've even had Halloween! Needless to say, I'm ready for it to be over.
Christmas this year was wonderful. I had my mum's side of the family over (that's 4 siblings, 2 parents and a cat), and we all crammed in to my tiny flat for dinner and gifts. Boy was incredibly spoilt by friends and family (my gifts were Mr Men puzzles, a Hotwheels track and a Gruffalo annual) and all his presents were thoughtful and well-received. But that got me thinking: what do we all dread our kids receiving for Christmas? Here's my top 5:
5. Arts and Craft kits: With these kits come shining gallons of good intentions from both you and the giver. You will sit with your child and carefully piece together this fantastic DIY handbag kit (suitable for 3yrs+) during that dedicated 3 hour timeslot you carve out for your child every day. No, s/he will not stab you with the plastic needle. Of course you can unravel the wool without their help. Who would dare suggest sticking the gems on their own face?
4. Anything Vtech: It flashes. It talks. It sings. It needs 10 batteries. It's made of very, very hard plastic. It's bloody loud, and it has no fucking volume controls. This is the 21st century, for Christ's sake!
3. Those 'grown your own dinosaur/alien/other weird thing in water' kits: These strange little kits claim you can grown aforementioned toy in an egg-shaped pot of water overnight and lo behold, your child will have their own mini toy they have reared themselves. It's almost as good as a puppy. Except a) the container leaks everywhere. b) the toy won't come out of the egg pod. c) the toy itself feels disgustingly squishy and slimy once drained.
2) Music kits: Once again - it's loud, and you're going to trip over it on multiple, musical occasions.
1) Hamma beads, aqua beads, or anything of that ilk: Let's be honest. You can lay out a tray, group the beads in colour co-ordinated piles, threaten your kids with death by vacuuming, but those beads are going to go everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Not only when your kids are nicely putting them together (which on a good day lasts 5 minutes before the whining and/or fighting starts), but when you put them aside to iron or spray 'later' doom shall befall you. No, you could put everyone in your house in straight jackets and still those damn things will be knocked to the floor. My advice is to sneak into the gift givers house and tip the beads into all of their cereal packets so they have to painstakingly pick them out piece by piece. That should give them the message.
What do you dread your kids receiving at Christmas?
Heather x
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